Catastrophes Averted! Sweet Friday Luck.

To the inconsiderate asshole in my neighborhood: I like dogs. Dogs are great. You have a dog, so it is YOUR DUTY to clean up the dog SHIT that it leaves on the sidewalk on my street. I missed that pile of poo by a friggin' inch this morning because I was looking in my bag to make sure I had everything I needed for work. I, for some silly reason, didn't expect to encounter a steaming pile of SHIT in my path, you lazy son of a bitch. PICK UP YOUR SHIT. That dog is yours, so by default, the SHIT is yours too. Pick it up. If I see you walking your dog and leaving dook piles around the neighborhood, I will pick that shit up and throw it at you.

So, I didn't step in the crap. Whew! I was still pissed, but carried on. I found myself at an intersection and for some reason I was watching the wrong car, judging when to cross the road, and out of nowhere, another car decides to turn the corner. I ran out in front of him before I even realized he was there and he had to slam on his brakes. I'm pretty glad they worked.

I didn't squish the poop and I didn't die. Sweet luck. Happy Friday, friends. I hope you all have a nice weekend that doesn't involve stepping in poop, getting hit by a car, or setting yourself on fire. Fireworks are not toys.

DO NOT LEAN AGAINST THE DOORS!!!!!!

Wednesday, March 8, 2006, began pretty much like any typical workday. Well, except the fact that my sister was going to have a tumor removed from her leg....another story, another blog. She was having a tumor removed and I was on my way to work. You see, I had originally planned on going to the hospital with her and taking the day off, but my older sister brought it to my attention that our little surgery patient would be all alone the day after her surgery. So, I decided not to go on Wednesday, but rather, to spend all Thursday with her.

So, I'm on my way to work, on the train with GP, my roommate, and we are positioned in such a way that I am right up against the door at the end of the car that leads to the next car. There is, of course, a very clear sign on the door that says, "Do not lean against the doors" but I, as usual, choose to ignore this sign and press my luck. It is car number 01600, a number I will recall until the day I die. jk. I just made a point of remembering it.

Next stop, Porter Square. All is well, life is good. Next stop, DEATH!, I mean, Harvard Square. So, we are going and all of a sudden, the door I am LEANING against (stupid MJ, stupid MJ)....wait for it.....wait for it....it OPENS!!!!!! WHILE THE TRAIN IS MOVING!!!! In between stations!!!! AHHHH!!!!

For some lucky reason, I happened to be holding on to a rail and did not fall out of the train, as you can probably guess from the mere fact that I am writing this blog and am NOT DEAD. My backpack nearly fell off the train as well. It was almost a very bad day.

I was sort of in shock I guess, because I can't really remember the rest of the ride all that well. There was a very nice man who tried with all his might to lock the door and then stood next to it, putting himself in harms way and keeping GP and me safe. That was really nice. You're a good man, Charlie Brown.

So, leaning, door opens, nearly died---I decided, to hell with work, I'm going to the hospital to be there for my sister and that is exactly what I did. These are my Chronicles of Trainia and the moral of this story is (say it with me now): DO NOT LEAN AGAINST THE DOORS!