Catastrophes Averted! Sweet Friday Luck.

To the inconsiderate asshole in my neighborhood: I like dogs. Dogs are great. You have a dog, so it is YOUR DUTY to clean up the dog SHIT that it leaves on the sidewalk on my street. I missed that pile of poo by a friggin' inch this morning because I was looking in my bag to make sure I had everything I needed for work. I, for some silly reason, didn't expect to encounter a steaming pile of SHIT in my path, you lazy son of a bitch. PICK UP YOUR SHIT. That dog is yours, so by default, the SHIT is yours too. Pick it up. If I see you walking your dog and leaving dook piles around the neighborhood, I will pick that shit up and throw it at you.

So, I didn't step in the crap. Whew! I was still pissed, but carried on. I found myself at an intersection and for some reason I was watching the wrong car, judging when to cross the road, and out of nowhere, another car decides to turn the corner. I ran out in front of him before I even realized he was there and he had to slam on his brakes. I'm pretty glad they worked.

I didn't squish the poop and I didn't die. Sweet luck. Happy Friday, friends. I hope you all have a nice weekend that doesn't involve stepping in poop, getting hit by a car, or setting yourself on fire. Fireworks are not toys.