It Is Amazing What A Few Months Can Do

(Written 10/24/05)

So, when I moved back to Boston (for the third time) last February, I had exactly four friends in the city. One I adore and see semi-frequently, another I have not yet contacted so I don't think we are really friends, and the other two are those weird friends who you never call but are happy to see when you run into them at a party. I had family, but no one to really talk to and I was coming off of a really nasty breakup.

This was the breakup which trumped all other breakups in my repertoire. I felt like I was dying inside and, looking back on it, I guess I sort of was. Naturally, time heals all wounds and I recovered. I spent a lot of time alone, walking around the city, observing people.

Then, I decided to try out for a play. My life literally exploded with possibility. Being on stage again made me realize that I can do this. I can do that. I'll get through it. I have potential. I can make people "feel" and that feels good. I signed up for a class. I met new people. I smiled and laughed, really laughed, for the first time in a long time. It felt good.Now, I have so much to do I cannot keep track of it. I am so busy I think I might explode. It is good to be busy, but all I want (and here I frickin’ go again) is to be bored with someone I love. I wanna sit and make stupid jokes and cuddle and order in and take showers and scrub each other's backs. I want to make someone happy. Where are you, lover boy? Come quick!!!!!!!