WAAAAAAH!!!!!

My internet has been down since Thursday morning. It is now Monday evening, and pardon my French, I’m fucking annoyed as shit. Motherfuckers better get their shit together or I am seriously feeling like I might lose my fucking mind.

Anyway. I have been sitting on this blog entry since the 26th. Fuckers.
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There’s a lot going on at the moment. Some of these things are as follows:

1. I agreed to make a cake in the shape of the Eiffel Tower for my boss’ girlfriend’s birthday. I honestly do not know why I got myself into this mess. Shit.

2. I am running out of money. I can’t determine where exactly it is all going, but my current hypothesis is that it is all being spent on cappuccino and laugenbrötchen. Tasty, but at my going rate, quite expensive.

3. It looks like I may not qualify for affordable health insurance. It is very complicated and hard to explain, but overall, shitty. This is making me rethink the feasibility of my staying here. More on this later, I suppose.

4. I’ve discovered that teaching is one of the most difficult jobs ever. It is of course (thankfully!) very rewarding, but I’m learning that it is also mentally, emotionally and physically exhausting. I think you should write letters to your favorite teachers thanking them, because they deserve endless praise. Teaching is wicked hard.

5. I love to teach.

6. Dating is a waste of time.

7. I am addicted to Taco Bell. I fantasize about it. I would pay a ridiculous amount of money for a Mexican pizza. I think that shit may be laced. Seriously, are preservatives and additives addictive?

8. I keep opening my garbage can and thinking, when did I eat salami? That shit stinks. I think it is time to take the trash out.

9. I’m tired of having to do everything all the time. I want someone else to take the trash out. Maybe dating isn’t a waste of time.

10. German butter is so good. Americans are being jipped.

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And the updates since last week…

1) I am totally freaking my shit out about the Eiffel Tower cake. Have considered completely backing out, but am going to just try it and see how it goes. Pictures will surely follow.

2) I still don’t know what the deal is with my health insurance.

3) I am not ready to be a teacher.

4) Taco Bell sounds amazing, and I’m not even hungry.

5) Oh, I discovered the source of the salami scent. It was, believe it or not, SALAMI! I forgot that I purchased some Ja! Salami Pizza. Shit was cheap und lecker (delicious).

6) Dating is still a waste of time. I think I feel worse about life in general when I date, so I’m giving it up. Less to think about.

7) Teaching is really hard. I don’t know if I can keep this up. I really don’t know.

Anyway, peace out, skillet.