She of All The Blogging

So, I’m officially a “blogger” now. One who blogs. She of all the blogging. I also have a myspace page with a mini blog, so yesterday I copied all of the material I had written from there and pasted it into Blogspot. As you will notice, as a result, there are multiple entries for October 18th, dating as far back as October of 2005. But, now, dear readers, I am in real time. And isn’t it exciting?

I have to admit, I’m deeply torn between announcing to all of my friends and family that I have created a blog and keeping it completely private and confidential so I can write without fear of who may be reading what. It would be nice either way, really. Nice to be able to write anything without worrying if I may offend or upset someone. A nice outlet for my deepest, darkest thoughts and feelings. I need that.

On the other hand (and boy is it a big hand) I’m a sucker for attention and comments. I want the people I love to read my entries and give me feedback. But I feel like opening it up to them will bring a whole mess of consequences with which I’m not sure I’m prepared to deal.

I guess, for the time being, I will keep my mouth shut. The biggest difficulty I foresee will be my own capacity for secret keeping. I mean, I can keep important secrets. But little, trivial secrets? Like what I bought my sister for Christmas or he likes her and she likes him and neither of them know it? I am notorious for revealing those types of secrets.

I also don’t enjoy surprises if I know there will be a surprise. I can’t stand the anticipation. I get anxious and impatient and feel all weird and antsy inside. If I am surprised without knowing to expect a surprise, however, that, that I can deal with. I even enjoy that. But it is knowing something surprising will be happening in the near future that I find really aggravating. I’m all, “When? Now? What about now?” It’s annoying. So annoying that I annoy myself. I drive myself crazy with the not knowing.

So yeah, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to keep this blog a secret, but I am going to do my damnedest trying. I love the idea of having something that is all mine. Mine alone. Mine. All mine!!!! Wuah-ha-ha-ha-ha……