Inadvertent High-Fructose Corn Syrup Rant

It’s been almost five months since I got off the plane in Hamburg. It’s been a kind of fabulous five months.

I am flying to Boston in four sleeps, for my friend Robin’s wedding. I am psyched for the impending wedding throw-down, since I love me a good wedding, and also, I have to admit, I'm kind of nervous about being in the States.

I mean, no, I’m totally excited and happy and all those good things, but I am also a little nervous. I am afraid a tiny part of me won’t like it there anymore. That maybe Germany has its claws in me. That part of me will prefer a lifetime of German bread and cheese.

Seriously, have we talked about this? German bread? Holy crap, that shit is amazing. Dr. Atkins would have rethought his diet, had he lived here for a while. Or, maybe not, considering he surely brought in loads of dough (Ha. I didn’t even mean for that pun. The best kind of pun! Unintentional punage! Not a word, “punage”.) with his BREAD IS THE DEVIL approach.

Anyway, German bread is amazing. But could I ever trade it for my beloved Taco Bell? What is the deal? I fantasize about that shit. But still, all that healthy bread has clearly deprived my body of its American-style ever-present NEED for FAKE FOOD--high-fructose corn syrup (HFCS) and other delicious preservatives and false flavors. I think we underestimate our reliance on this shit. For reals.

I think the HFCS people are up to no good. No good, at all. This deserves a separate entry, but seriously? Wtf?

Oh, nevermind. I guess it’s going to be in this entry, since the likelihood of me blogging in the next month ain’t so great.

I was listening to one of my new favorite podcasts—Stuff You Should Know, by my latest virtual crushes, Josh Clark and Chuck Bryant. The topic of the episode was HFCS and that podcast left me even more suspicious and weirded out about the junk.

Anywhooo…I told a student of mine about America’s use of HFCS and ended up betting him €5 euros that German Coca-Cola contains HFCS. Why wouldn’t it? Coca-Cola is Coca-Cola, right? WRONG. We immediately went to the closest store and he won the stupid bet. Did you even know there are different types of Coca-Cola? The marketing geniuses apparently cater to local flavor preferences and laws. So my question is, WHY is HFCS allowed to be in the American version, if we have A CHOICE about it? WTF?

Money, that’s why. Corn production and farming legislation. HFCS makes you fat! And it is in EVERYTHING. Meat! Bread! Cells throughout your entire body metabolize regular glucose, but your liver solely metabolizes fructose and any excess your liver cannot handle is turned into fat. It was introduced to the market in the 1970s and the rates of obesity and type 2 diabetes immediately began rising.

Anyway. Yes. Listen to that podcast. I’m excited to go home.

The end.

Cravings and Annoyances

CRAVINGS

I must be suffering from a serious burrito deficiency or something, because I cannot get enough of Boloco’s breakfast burritos! Huevos Rancheros! On a wheat wrap! Yes! With an iced coffee? Of course! Only $3? Are you joking?

Each morning, while I get ready for work, I tell myself, “I will not get a breakfast burrito today. I will not get a breakfast burrito today.” Then I get off the train and head straight to Boloco. It’s like a giant burrito magnet calling me home.

When I lived in Albuquerque, I was introduced to the joy and wonder that is the breakfast burrito, and my breakfast cravings have never been the same. Boston’s restaurant scene pisses me off for a variety of reasons, one of them being the lack of a decent breakfast burrito.

Other things that bother me about Boston’s culinary scene:

1) NOTHING is open after 11:00. Sure, there are a couple of places that offer breakfast at midnight, but they are few and far between. That, coupled with the ridiculous fact that the T shuts down around midnight, lead to a lot of drunken folks with no greasy spoon within walking distance. This makes no sense. None at all. There is a huge market for late-night eateries just waiting to be tapped. Is it some sort of blue law or something? Why can’t we have 24-hour restaurants?

2) Oh, well, I guess that is it.

3) Oh! There are not enough burrito/taco places. If I had my way, there would be a burrito place in every major square and near every single T station. Mmm…burritos.

ANNOYANCES

I dislike when women get their toenails painted in a French manicure style. The tips of their toenails are white, which only makes their toenails look freakishly long. I really, deeply dislike this look.

That is enough bitching for today, I guess. I’ll save my other annoyances for another day. I’m actually in a great mood, believe it or not. I get to see Radiohead tonight!!!! I am so excited. Have a good day!

Tacos Are For Lovers

I haven’t posted in a while and figured since I linked to a couple of blogs today, I’d update. You know, just in case someone stops by to check the place out.

Well, let’s see…..the last time I posted was in July and it sounds like I was pretty miserable. I’m feeling much better these days. I moved to a new city on September 1st in the Boston area, which has been quite an experience. This city, we’ll call it Homeville, is the most diverse city I’ve ever lived in. The streets are filled with Spanish speakers mostly, so I am slowly picking up some new words and phrases.

I studied Spanish for one semester during my final year of college and have always wanted to learn more, so being in such close proximity to so many native speakers is really awesome.

Also, Homeville has some really tasty food. Mmmmm…..tacos. Tacos are my favorite food in the whole wide world. I could eat tacos for every meal. There is a little Salvadoran restaurant near my house and holy tacos are their tacos delicious! Me gusta mucho.

In other news, I am still off of the cigarettes. It has been ten months! Ten months. That is a lot of months, right?! It’s crazy. I think about the last ten months and how hard I have struggled with those evil sickorettes and am so incredibly proud of myself. I haven’t had a single cigarette in ten months. I can’t believe so much time has passed since I had my last one.

It’s weird though. I still want a cigarette pretty much every day. I hear that it takes a couple of years to stop thinking about them all together, and I am hoping that is true (or that it takes less time, naturally), but sometimes I feel like I will always want one. Forever. I hope that’s not the case. It would suck to live life constantly wanting a cigarette, don’t you think?

My birthday is in a week and I’ve decided that instead of celebrating that, I am going to celebrate my one year non-smoking mark, November 26th. I think I will invite my friends to go out to dinner with me. We will eat, drink and be merry and it will be fun. I think a one year mark is much more significant than a silly birthday, don’t you?

Anyhooters…..that’s all for today. Have a nice Wednesday!